I am in my late 30’s, Villa Boy is over 40 (just!) apparently we should not be having a lot of sex according to any group of my peers I speak too. Well I don’t really speak about it but inevitably when out someone will joke about not doing it, or having to do it as it his birthday. It’s hard on one hand I can sit there cheering that infertility has an upside, who knew eh? Because you can never neglect your sex life as an infertile can you? I mean even in the months we have ivf we still have to ensure that Villa Boy has ejaculated enough but not too much! I am not sure that neither of us could have ever imagined how obsessed I could become with his ejaculation timetable!
As for the months when we could conceive obviously we have regular sex. The shag dictator aka the clearblue fertility monitor was a lifeline at one stage, Villa Boy works nights I work long hours, we could go days without seeing each other. Amazingly for months he didn’t twig that I only rushed home from work to “see” him on certain days. I ditched the shag dictator when our chances of conceiving naturally were set at low and I realised the free ap on my iPhone was as accurate. But it was well worth the investment as it certainly let me understand when was better than other times and made me create opportunities which may have otherwise been missed. So it took the pressure off a bit in some ways, I think in other ways it created pressure and an awareness that Villa Boy thought he wanted but really he didn’t. The alternative was to chart my temperature. I never fancied this as I figured it was easier to misinterpret plus online I have seen people obsess over every temperature shift and I knew for me it would not be a healthy hobby to commence as I would be that person!
Zita West reckons that a big cause of people failing to get pregnant is not having enough sex so since then I have been on a mission to ensure that we do it outside of the key days, you know like we are doing it just for… shock horror … fun! Obviously we are no closer to having a baby but at least we aren’t joining our peers with and without children in not having a decent sex life. Some months this does not feel like a good thing! Other months I feel warm and fluffy that after 11 years and at our great age we are still “at it” with high frequency. Every cloud as they say!