I have had a very lovely weekend with friends that I haven’t seen for far too long but who always manage to inspire me to be kind to myself. It was a lovely balance between spending time with the children, one of whom is my god child and touching base with my friend. It’s one of the lovely things about getting older as well is that your friends partners are also old friends and it’s easy and comfortable.
I have to admit as ever it seems I was a bit concerned that we hadn’t seen each other because I had turned into some infertility bore and they were avoiding me! Within 5 mins of arriving I knew this wasn’t the case and a conversation on Saturday afternoon as we walked through the woods, the children playing happily and unsupervised confirmed that they didn’t want to intrude and like many others felt that I knew where they were and that they were always ready to listen if needed. It made me ponder as I went to bed and I realised that I obviously am not an infertility bore as several people have said as you don’t really talk about it we don’t like to. It also made me think that I also need to be a bit clearer when I do need an ear as I am obviously not as clear as I think as I am which is probably why I don’t always get the support I think I am hinting for. Then I thought don’t talk about it much – gosh you should all see how I bang on and on about it online!
Anyway these friends are fabulous cooks and I always come away determined to do more than just read my recipe books and try something new. As we were discussing great recipes we had tried lately my friend started describing this amazing Jamie Oliver pasta dish that they had cooked. A blend of sausage meat, chicory, celery and chilli…… She then stopped and said “oh my god this is the most inappropriately named dish to be discussing with you I am so sorry……it’s called Jool’s Pregnant Pasta”, now I feel like tactless cow of the year”! It made me, and her giggle a lot especially as I had been recounting the tale of smug friend on holiday only minutes earlier. It felt normal, and good to laugh, it made me realise that I am not over sensitive and people can act normally around me and it’s all OK. For those more sensitive souls it is a version of another Jamie Oliver recipe called Proper Blokes Pasta, both sound fab and are on the to make list (although as I never follow a recipe it will be a version of !).
Of course in a more sensible continuation of this conversation we decided that as Jamie and Jools have 4 children despite fertility issues maybe the solution to all my woes is simply to cook the pregnant pasta recipe, never one to not try something in the name on conquering infertility the ingredients will be purchased this week, and in the interests of “science” I will, as a special occasion, follow the recipe. Expect my pregnancy announcement sometime in the next month, although I am prepared to have to cook the recipe more than once as I appreciate it didn’t immediately happen for the Olivers!!! Sorry did I say in a more sensible continuation of the conversation, I may have lied about that bit!