One year on

So it’s been a while, but I always wanted this blog to be about infertility and not get distracted by parenting as sometimes when you are googling for information a load of infertility information on a parenting blog is like a stab in the heart. I can’t lose my interest in infertility issues so am definitely going to be off loading some thoughts here still! But I did think that it was worth a post on life after infertility.

In those darkest days I often wondered whether it was worth putting myself through the roller coaster ride we were on. Sometimes as I was juggling money around was it worth all the money we were spending ? Mostly I consoled myself by knowing that if it didn’t work I knew I / we wouldn’t sit there in years and decades to come saying I wonder if, when we stopped it would have been because we exhausted all options available at the time. But we were lucky it worked our final roll of the infertility dice worked.

I have to be honest even when heavily pregnant I never truly believed we would bring a baby home, and even now I really can’t believe he is here. That probably means that I am still a little bit screwed up but it also means that I do genuinely take pleasure in every day. I said it a year ago and I will keep saying it he was worth every tear I cried, every emotional low I hit and most importantly every penny we spent. Sleepless nights pah, clingy boy hurrah he loves me, screaming tantrums in public yeah bring it on!! Maybe he’s an easy baby, maybe being older we have more patience, maybe the journey we went on to he him meant we were more than ready for him who knows or cares frankly. He brings us joy and happiness every single day.

I know that often post natal depression is common in women who have had a journey of infertility to get pregnant and I feel for them it must be awful to be ill and unable to appreciate the success of your fight. But I thought it would be good to it’s not a given, just because you ticked every other box in the infertility bingo game doesn’t mean you add PND to that card.

So those of you still fighting the infertile battle keep going lovelies the rewards are definitely worth it.


About thebarrenyears

I'm a 30 something girl trying and failing to get pregnant.
This entry was posted in About me, pregnancy and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to One year on

  1. So good to “see” you again. Our little guys are a week a part in age and I can really relate to your post. There are still times I can’t believe that we have a child after struggling for so long. It was truly worth EVERYTHING we went through to get him. Happy belated birthday to your little blessing.

  2. We are the same, I cherish every day with my son, who is a year old now. I couldn’t imagine being a dad who works away from home and missing out on our baby growing up, I don’t think people who have been through IVF love our children more than those who just had to have a shag and a baby popped out nine months later, but I wonder if in many cases we appreciate them more.

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